[i will wear thirty two shades of eyeliner & gentrify your avant garde poetry]

Thursday, February 22, 2007

ofelia

ofelia has a bloodless coup at bear parade.

ofelia is a genius, and other stuff.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

...

["I sound authoritative there but if you are paying attention you will know I am being sarcastic, that 'everything I type, say, or do is both meaningful and self-aware of its own meaninglessness,' and the part I just put in quotes is also both meaningful and self-aware of its own meaninglessness, and the part I just put in bold is both meaningful and self-aware of its own meaninglessness, and so on, repeating itself."]

I think this statement is pretty much true from my frame of reference and interesting. Everything else might be solely based on his context. Free will is an abstraction. Any argument for or against it is an abstraction. Abstractions are abstractions... It's times like these that I feel that everything is true and everything is false. Meaning is made, etc... My girlfriend hates that about me because I will argue about anything from any point of view and any context (I find it enjoyable).

I think even "pain and suffering" are abstractions.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

the superbowl

i'm watching the superbowl. the superbowl is an amazing event. large padded men battle other padded men and assault each other in a physical manner and with strategy. the strategy is complex. like chess or war.

the commercials this year are subpar. my favorite shows various men slapping each other in the face rather than high-fiving.

but something else. i was emailing w/ a friend and she said something about people and class struggle and i thought this:

people coming out of a middle-class/upper-class background don't want to help poor people by paying taxes for a comprehensive health-care system or by subsidizing education expenses, food etc..., because they think something like, "i earned healthcare, a good job, etc... by myself and so why should i have to help someone else do what takes hard work. poor people should just work hard, then they wouldn't need my help." what middle-class/upper-class people don't understand is that this is a false thought. these people have had help all their life. they had parents who could afford health-care, childcare, healthy food, after school activities, homes, homes in wholesome neighborhoods, the schools that are in wholesome neighborhoods which are also wholesome, if not private schools, money for college, the time to complete college applications and to apply for grants, scholarships etc... if a high school student is working full-time, he or she doesn't have the time to take advantage of these options. then finally the money to not work when at college and to focus on studies, to get internships (unpaying internships that the poor college student can't afford to take). in high school i once asked my teacher for an extension because i had to work etc etc... and my teacher said, "you shouldn't be working, school is your job." i tried to explain that if i didn't work i wouldn't have clothes to wear or food to eat, and i certainly wouldn't be going to school but...

i don't know what i'm talking about.

i don't know how this relates to football.

i went to the dentist maybe five times from age 0 to age 27. never had insurance. my teeth aren't quite white and aren't quite straight. everywhere i look i see people with white, straight teeth and i think about how much money and time it took to get them that way. i see young people with new cars. it is a different lifestyle and mindset. the middle/upper-class person always knows that no matter how much they fail, drop out of college, choose and 'alternative-lifestyle', try living in various cities, try different carreers, that there is always a support system to help them. this is good, but it is wrong to think that all accomplishments are the accomplishments of one person alone.

this was boring.

there will be a monkey battle-royale later.

and kissing elephants.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

...

i'm not sure but i think all writing i write that isn't about class struggle is probably some kind of sell-out. but i can't write about these kinds of things. it sounds lame and boring. people who are read are middle-class/upper-class people, with, of course, exceptions. i mean, generally, people who have time to read and to spend money on something as unnecessary as reading (or looking at art or whatever) are all in what used to be termed the 'bourgesoisie'. [i probably spelled that wrong]. if this is the case, and only this class of people are reading the [L]iterature then to write [L]iterature or [P]oetry is to cater to this demographic and ultimately isn't this the definition of selling out. Even to take the anti-mainstream/anti-bourgesoisie pose is really just a pseudo-rebellion against this class of people to entertain this class of people. are these readers saying, "check out this crazy shit this guy wrote about poor people". is outsider writing turning the lives of the very poor or whatever into a fetish for rich people? Maybe only genre writers are the true writers, and the voice of blah blah blah. i don't know.

this is all bullshit. ignore.

Friday, February 02, 2007

wheel of fortune

pat sajack doesn't seem into it anymore. he's mildly annoyed by his guests, talks over them, jokes a superior way. i like him more now.

i think wheel of fortune is probably more fair than real life

real life is probably fair

maybe

note

sometimes i feel strange when i'm on airplanes, like a 'business-man' will suddenly point at me and say, 'your teeth aren't straight.'

Thursday, February 01, 2007

...

poverty is not having access to good health care, insurance etc... that is a lot of people.

...

i am watching jeopardy and i am bored. i have quit writing. i want to become a data entry artist. i will enter data into computers artistically. i can enter all kinds of data. i am almost a specialist.

i'm sorry. i shouldn't have written of that because it's not entertaining.

i grew up very poor (if you are reading this, chances are you know me, and aren't surprised by this). my parents owned a small two-bedroom mobile home. the mobile home had no wheels. my parents paid rent (about 250 dollars a month) for the land that the mobile home sat on (on cement blocks). there was a yard smaller than my bedroom. there was a very large tree. there were other trailers, a little brown lake, and ducks that shit everywhere. we played football on the grass in front of the lake and rolled in little green duck turds.

i have two brothers and one sister. we shared the same bedroom. i often slept on the floor (really only room for three beds).

it is strange and distant now. i can barely remember that. i had a bicycle etc... i stole many things, many hood ornaments. i vandalized many things (houses, trees, streetlights, roads), with friends and alone.

this is all very boring but i want to say that really none of these things that i've typed means i was poor. people who are poor don't have homes, can't find food, don't drive to work. my parents drove to work.