warehouse dream

In my car on Mt. Ranier. Snow and ice. Sled my car down narrow roads. A woman appears. She is six feet tall with gray hair and gray skin and gray eyes. She holds a small mammal. I say, "what is the mammal for?" The snow is gone. We're in a warehouse. The woman says, "stop." The woman breaks the mammal in half. She shows me. Inside the mammal are tight little bags of red and blue berries.

bronson incognito

Charles Bronson slowly eats the leg of a live rabbit. I offer my bottled water. Charles Bronson says, "What are you, some kind of left-handed bitch? Bring my mutton." I bring the mutton and Bronson stabs my pet kitten. Bronson looks at me. "I'll write a poem in kitten blood," Bronson says. Then he stabs me in the neck.

airport

I take my sister to the airport. Charles Bronson, Gene Hackman, and Helen Hunt are the ticketing agents. Bronson steals my sister's luggage. Bronson says, "Possessions." Hackman says, "Are." Hunt says, "Mine." My sister begins to cry for her lost kitten. Hackman stabs Bronson in the neck. "Run!" yells Helen Hunt.

hair tonic

I am a four hundred year old clam. I am sought after. A thousand Charles Bronson's shatter my shell and grind my shell and sell my shell grindings as hair tonic to thousands of rubes on QVC.

bronson-fish

I am in a pet store, near the fish. Each tank bubbles. Each fish looks like Charles Bronson. I feed the Bronson-fish. I hold my tire-iron. I swing my tire-iron. I smash the tanks with my tire-iron. The Bronson-fish slide across the tile floor, little Bronson lips opening and closing, little Bronson moustaches all soggy and long. It is warm. I steal a book from the bookstore. I run. Giant Bronson-fish chase me and tackle me and handcuff me. I am shoved into the back of a squad-car. There is a sound like laughing.

babble babble nothing time

Charles Bronson slaps me and says, "Merry mother-fuckin' Christmas." I drive my car slowly backwards over the Evergreen Point Floating Bridge. It is night. I am surrounded by a million people and those million people hold a million flashlights and shine their million flashlights at me and my beat-up jalopy. Charles Bronson says, "It is five times aluminum barrel treatment Rip Torn." I am Rip Torn. I am wonderboy. I steal a flashlight. I shine the flashlight. I say, "Poetry babble babble nothing time!" I say, "TV is ninety-nine million monstral portion potato man!"

kangaroo

I am riding a scooter in Australia. I am a kangaroo. I eat myself. I am imploded and inside out.

little landmines

I am in the bathroom. There is a light. I think it is Thursday. I remember that it is Wednesday. Charles Bronson says, "Don't worry kid. All things are timely." I don't know what he means. Charles Bronson says, "Poems are like little land mines with broken triggers." I throw my razor at the wall. I am in Paris. I am in a bathroom in Paris. The mirror is black. I drive my motorcycle to the sea. I drive into the sea. Beneath the water, Charles Bronson says, "The sky is very close."

moustache

I am in a small, steam-filled room. Over a speaker, I can hear Charles Bronson talking to Gene Hackman. Bronson says, "My moustache my moustache my moustache and can feel my ass anywhere." Hackman replies, "You will eat the wooden otter." I feel confused and confused about being confused and tired.

certified

I'm writing a novel in a cafe in Kelso, Washington. I try to drink coffee but the coffee tastes like ice cream, bitter ice cream, and I spit the bitter ice cream coffee out onto the floor of the cafe. There are ten thousand girls in the cafe. They stare at me and shake their heads when I spit, so I ignore them by watching my computer screen and typing my novel. I type the words, 'There is no difference between a violent massacre and a gift of kittens.' I type the words, 'The hero of this novel must be a microwave.' I see microwaves waving through the air. Charles Bronson sits across from me and closes my laptop. He says, "I am a certified doctor."

movie

I am the headlining star in a title-less Hollywood action blockbuster that co-stars Charles Bronson and Jodie Foster. Jodie Foster is the quarterback of a local high school football team and Charles Bronson and I have to save her when a gang of thuggish mutant bunny-rabbits kidnaps her before the all-state championships. I am watching this movie in a movie theater. I say, "Time out." I stop the movie and give myself acting instructions then watch myself act with Charles Bronson and Jodie Foster. I review myself while watching myself in the movie and publish the article in the Oregonian. I give my performance one star. I call it the pity star. I make a pity star out of cardboard and mail it to myself with a letter imploring me to end my action carreer. I recieve the letter and the pity star in the mail and it makes me sad and I cry and quit acting and go on a retreat to Canada where I retire and become a movie critic.

dirty dozen

I am Charles Bronson. I am leading the Dirty Dozen on a clandestine mission in Omaha, Nebraska. Our fatigues are muddy and tight. The sky is a brown shirt. We are surrounded by rusted trees. I set my rifle down. I am not Charles Bronson. I watch Charles Bronson set his rifle down. He says, "Strip." The Dirty Dozen strips. He motions forward. I am Charles Bronson I motion forward. The Dirty Dozen charges between trees toward a row of robot warriors. I remove a notebook from my back pocket. I write all this down. I sketch a picture of the robot warriors slaughtering the Dirty Dozen. I draw a picture of Charles Bronson sketching pictures of robot warriors. Charles Bronson says, "I am a camera." I say, "I am a camera." We charge into the map-room. We destroy the 'big board.'

"badass movie hero chicken bucket"

Charles Bronson is in KFC. He is eating a drumstick. I sit across from Charles Bronson. I reach for a drumstick from Charles Bronson's chicken bucket. Charles Bronson moves his index finger like a pendulum and clucks his tongue. Charles Bronson says, "My chicken bucket." I say, "An evolution toward sharing." Charles Bronson says, "Badass movie hero chicken bucket." I place my hands palm-down on the formica table. I feel the plastic seat on my buttocks. My buttocks become the plastic seat. I am tile. I see feet. I am with Charles Bronson outside 7-11. Charles Bronson sips from his slurpy. I reach for Charles Bronson's slurpy-straw. Charles Bronson moves his index finger like a pendulum and clucks his tongue. Charles Bronson says, "Badass movie hero slurpy-straw." Everything makes a buzzing sound. I walk carefully through the buzzing sound.

symposium

I am sitting on the floor of a combination shopping mall office building. I am surrounded by elderly men. The elderly men talk quietly. The elderly men adjust their eye-glasses, then slowly walk through cubicle walls, from one store to another, their shopping bags dragging behind. My business suit changes from black to red to white to black. I am on a football field, on the 32-yard line, midfield. The stadium is full of silent elderly men. Nothing moves. One elderly man says, "Manatee calibration for alphabetical filing John symposium." I dive into the swimming pool and swim to the bottom, where I find a telephone. The telephone beeps.

"calibration"

There is a small bird in my bed. I sit next to the bird. I touch the bird's head. The bird has no feathers. The bird has lips. The bird has a beak and the lips are on this beak. I touch the bird's lips. The bird says, "Calibration." I am in my car on a bridge in Portland Oregon. I am on every bridge in Portland Oregon. The bird is sitting on my car. It is night. It is snowing. My car moves from side to side. The streetlights shut off. My headlights shut off. I can't see so I slowly bring my car to a stop. I am afraid I might drive off the bridge into the Columbia River. The bird paces on my car's hood. I can't see the bird but I can hear the bird. My car implodes.

geoduck dream

There is a sad puppy bouncing on a trampoline. I am on an easy-chair. We are in church. You light your pipe. I say, "Not in the pews fool!" Outside, it is snowing and dark, and there are many hills covered in snow and I can see them all, despite the dark, because of moon-light, maybe. I drive a truck. You sit in the passenger seat with your pipe. You say, "I wish I had a scooter." We stop at 7-11. Your girlfriend owns the 7-11. We ask her for free candy bars. We eat some candy bars. She chases us with a knife down Lake City Way in Seattle, Washington. We jump to Oly and hide in the Library building, on the top floor, next to the computer lab. You get tangled in the wires and pulled into a recycling bin. I ask the student-aid about duplex printing.

highway

I must cross a busy highway. Many cars speed by with no more than an inch between bumpers. There is a great roar and the sky is orange. I take a step. I take another.

the notes

I am in a jungle campsite near a small waterfall. I am eating french fries. A man steps forward. I can't see the man. The man is in Wisconsin. I realize I am in a jungle in Wisconsin. The waterfall reverses. I am on top of the waterfall. I am the man watching me stand atop the waterfall. The waterfall re-reverses. I am me again. The main pulls a notepad from his back jeans pocket and slowly writes notes. I read the notes. I say, "why are you writing that?" I read the notes again. I am the man, but now in Ellensburg, WA, at a gas station. I read the notes. The gas station explodes.

'complete'

On my desk, in my cubicle, in my office building, on the twentieth floor, my boss sets a bowie knife. She steps back slowly and stares at my forehead. She pats the gun at her waist. She says, "You must stab every person in the office across the hallway." She hands me a badge. "It is official," she says. I say, "I can scrump ten thousand hallways until batch dawn twenty-three." I say, "I am." I'm in the hallway with the knife. Every man has Gene Hackman's face. Every woman is Gene Hackman's daughter. I'm in the other office. My boss is in her office. I am watching my boss fill out a report on her computer. Her computer screen is black. Her cursor is yellow. She is using outdated unix-based software. She types, 'complete'. I am on someone's desk. I have the knife in my hand. The blade is very long and very shiny. Gene Hackman's daughters are crying. The Gene Hackman's are resolute. I am Gene Hackman. I am resolute. I stab myself, then my daughters. My blood is orange. The carpet is orange. I stab Gene Hackman. I stab myself. My boss is in her office. Her computer is old and noisy. She presses a button. The button is labelled 'enter'. The computer screen says, 'execute'. There are many dots on the computer screen. The office building is an office building and I am on the twentieth floor and I and every other Gene Hackman and every daughter of Gene Hackman are carefully dead.

the squid is an octopus

I have been tied to a kitchen chair with twine. Near the window, is a car battery and jumper cables. I try to reach my cell-phone but it is stuck in my waist band and my waist band is six miles away. I walk through the tunnel which is also my elbow and carefully sit in a puddle. Dinner is ready and I'm supposed to be home but all the terrorists have teamed with the girl scouts to cover me in squid. I swim from the squid but am tangled in tentacles because the squid is an octopus and the octopus is a luxury sedan from Finland. I am not in Finland and I am not alone.