poetry through the glass partition!

been kicking it w/ maddie my dear, old, college roommate. the other day we wrote a poem together (while driving). here is the original version:


pilot armada

two lane interstate now solid
orange bifocal in brush
herds salivate under ruddy bombs
seeds scatter among rocks
stamp kittens coolly over reptiles
used dead as rafts
stall tricycles for antique replicants
vomit in the driveway
yellow antic wildebeasts
cackle like washing machines


then, on a whim i edited it thusly:


pilot armada

interstate
now solid
orange bifocal
salivate
under ruddy bombs
scatered
among rocks
stamped cooly
dead as rafts
or tricycles
for replicants
yellow antic
driveway
cackle
washing machines


don't know how i like it. i plan to run it through the old babel fish & reedit for fun later, maybe cut up & mix with something funny, but mostly enjoying the co-writing (which always comes out wacky, maybe?).

now dear maddie's making dinner (a kind thing out here in montana for an interloper such as me) & we will relax w/ the crickets or whatever.

i'm sad tho, i can't read amelia's blog right now. all i see is a blank page! has it died? say it ain't so amelia! that wd be too sad for words!

but dinner is steaming & we have another poem to write!