movie

I am the headlining star in a title-less Hollywood action blockbuster that co-stars Charles Bronson and Jodie Foster. Jodie Foster is the quarterback of a local high school football team and Charles Bronson and I have to save her when a gang of thuggish mutant bunny-rabbits kidnaps her before the all-state championships. I am watching this movie in a movie theater. I say, "Time out." I stop the movie and give myself acting instructions then watch myself act with Charles Bronson and Jodie Foster. I review myself while watching myself in the movie and publish the article in the Oregonian. I give my performance one star. I call it the pity star. I make a pity star out of cardboard and mail it to myself with a letter imploring me to end my action carreer. I recieve the letter and the pity star in the mail and it makes me sad and I cry and quit acting and go on a retreat to Canada where I retire and become a movie critic.