the squid is an octopus

I have been tied to a kitchen chair with twine. Near the window, is a car battery and jumper cables. I try to reach my cell-phone but it is stuck in my waist band and my waist band is six miles away. I walk through the tunnel which is also my elbow and carefully sit in a puddle. Dinner is ready and I'm supposed to be home but all the terrorists have teamed with the girl scouts to cover me in squid. I swim from the squid but am tangled in tentacles because the squid is an octopus and the octopus is a luxury sedan from Finland. I am not in Finland and I am not alone.